In this series on Kerbside we’ll be exploring BMW and their unwillingness to fully explore the ‘photocopier’ design paradigm that BMW themselves invented.
It all started with the BMW X6. It was an arresting and curious sort of pseudo-coupe mixed with the ride height and running gear of the BMW X5. And history tells us that it was a recipe for success.
BMW’s eternal rivals, Audi and Mercedes, were quick to catch up with Munich’s new toy, and have themselves gleefully exploited the idea of making a car for every kind of niche that exists within their market sectors.
But, BMW never did – we’ll explore the potential cars that could have existed if BMW had been a little bit more mad.
A Lack of Performance Models
Of the big three German manufacturers, BMW has always been the one most steeped in tradition.
Yes, Audi has quattro, but BMW’s emphasis on handling dynamics, rear-wheel drive chassis, 50:50 weight distribution, and silky naturally-aspirated engines, has given it one of the greatest automotive lineages ever, and a real brand consistency, until recently – but that is another story.
But these traditions also make it hard for BMW to change as readily as Mercedes and Audi. This can be seen in BMW’s lack of strange and unnecessary performance derivates of every single car they made. Mercedes made AMGs CLA45, R63 and GLE63, to name a few, and Audi has the RSQ3, SQ2, and RS7, but BMW never had a sports version of the 2-Series Gran Tourer, or a proper M-car 1 series hatchback.
This is because BMW’s performance ideals were so set in stone that anything fast needed to be rear-driven, powered by an inline-six and drifty.
Essentially, what BMW lacked was flexibility and a wicked fast turbocharged four-cylinder, much like VW’s EA888 engine. As a result BMW’s zany performance models never quite had the same reach and breadth as its rivals. If a turbocharged V8 could be fit in the bonnet, it was fitted, but this was only on their SUV style cars, but they never made an M7, a second or third generation Z4M, or a M2 Gran Tourer.
Then BMW went and upended their performance ideals, by adopting all-wheel drive, front wheel drive, and committing other acts of sacrilege on the way.
But this has all been shaken up recently, the M135i is now a four-cylinder turbo, so perhaps there is hope. C’mon BMW just push that boat out a little further.
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